請幫我訂正一下作文 - 籃球

題目:
凱文和傑瑞約好星期天早上8點半要練習籃球,它匆匆忙忙趕到學校體育館後,卻不見傑瑞的蹤影.請依照下面的圖片,寫一篇約50字的故事
圖一
凱文睡起來已經8點45分了
圖2
凱文在雨中快速騎腳踏車
圖3
凱文在籃球場打電話給傑瑞得知今天是星期六不是星期天,然後他一臉囧樣
我的作文:
Today, when Kevin got up, he found he was late for date with Jerry. Kevin went to the school PE fasyly by bicycle. However, when he got to PE, he found Jerry wasn't there. And then, he asked Jerry what happened by phone. Then, he just knew their date was tomorrow.
ps 我忘記把時間.下雨.囧樣 描寫出來了 在英檢考試中有關西嗎?
Update:
一樓大大可以解釋一下為什麼我用的不行嗎?
Update 2:
可以解釋一下我標示的為什麼不行嗎? 我列的句子還有其他錯誤的話儘管說
Today, when Kevin "got up" at 8:45 this morning, he found "out" that he was late for the "date" with Jerry.(不能got up嗎? 為何要out? date不行嗎?)
He went to the school gym by bicycle "fast" in rain.(fast不行嗎?)
Update 3:
However, when he "got to" the gym, he found "out" Jerry wasn't there.(got to不行嗎?為何要out)
"And then", he asked Jerry what happened by phone.
"Then", he just knew that it "is" Saturday today not Sunday.(副詞連接詞順嗎? 可用was嗎?)
Update 4:
Kevin "looks" a bit embarassing after realizing the "date" is tomorrow..(可用looked嗎? date不行嗎?)