Sickipedia 關於英格蘭隊的沒品笑話 - 世足

Sickipedia是一個英國網站，
內容全是百無禁忌的簡短笑話，各種調侃，尺度非常寬，
正如其名般的「Sick」，不建議衛道人士觀看。

從英格蘭隊進入世界杯開始，酸意從未停止，只有最酸沒有底限，
特別是對烏拉圭輸球後，整個頁面都是取笑調侃英格蘭隊的笑話，還源源不絕上傳中。

以下節錄幾則，有興趣可以自行前往觀看：http://www.sickipedia.org/

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"I don't really know my best position. Left, right or centre."
"Wayne, just get on the fucking plane and pick an aisle, will you?"
-Reject Dog 投稿

　「我真不知道我在哪個位置最好，左邊，右邊，還是中間？」
　「魯尼，飛機上隨便找個位置坐就好！」

"Lets go England!"
Said the captain of their plane.
-Rocket11 投稿

　「飛吧！英格蘭！」
　　駕駛回程航班的機長說道。

Roy Hodgson said this World Cup that he wanted to get England playing more
like Liverpool. Well, Roy, it hasn't quite happened, but at least you've got
Suarez scoring again.
-cola79 投稿

　　霍奇森說在世界盃上他會讓英格蘭踢得如同利物浦一樣好。
　　雖然承諾沒有實現，不過成功讓蘇亞雷斯進球了。

Now the England game is over the team can get back to doing what they do
best... Cheating on their girlfriends and making hair shampoo adverts.
-pigeon 投稿

　　英格蘭的世界盃賽結束了，英格蘭球員們終於可以做些他們擅長的事。
　　比如勾搭別人女友和拍攝洗髮精廣告。

I'd like to finish the night on a good note.
For all you lot who have purchased an England top in the world cup, you
should still fall in the 14 day returns guarantee.
-ian durty turban thomas 投稿

　　提醒認為英格蘭會奪冠而買了球衣的人，別忘了還在14天的退換貨期限內。

I think 2014 will be remembered as the year that things went missing... Plane
loads of Chinese people... Nigerian schoolgirls... And England's world cup
back four.
-widowwarmer 投稿　
　
　　2014年令人難以忘懷，有太多人失去蹤影了……
　　馬航班機的乘客……
　　奈及利亞的女學生……
　　英格蘭的四後衛。

What goes up, must come down. England flags, mostly.　-bushwhacker 投稿

　　俗諺：「世間萬物，有起有落。」
　　主要指的是英格蘭國旗。

The positive is that Rooney scored 2 goals at the World Cup. His first and
fucking last.
-jackmeough 投稿

　　魯尼在世界盃進了兩球。
　　第一球，和最後一球。

Well at least it's finally settled that debate - Rooney's best position for
the England team is sitting at home watching on the telly
-winkel 投稿

　　我們總算得出結論了：魯尼的最佳位置是坐在家中看電視。

　（有個更狠毒的直接寫：魯尼的最佳位置是在75歲老妓女的背後。）

At this rate the England squad will be home before Ian Wright
-nnnnwwww 投稿

　 英格蘭隊到家速度說不定比Ian Wright還快。

　（Ian Wright家中遭竊，妻兒遭脅持，於19日從巴西趕回英格蘭）

Once again tonight we got to see Gerrard do what he does best. Absolutely
fucking nothing.
-ChuckNorrisSucks 投稿

　　今晚讓我們再一次看到傑拉德的拿手絕活。
　　啥屁事也沒幹。

Watching England is a bit like going to the toilet. You're unsure what's
going to happen but in the end it'll be Shit.
-AutomaTom 投稿

　　看英格蘭比賽就像在上廁所。
　　你不知道過程怎樣，但結局一定跟屎一樣。

Liverpool are looking good value for money for next season.
The link-up play between Suarez and Gerrard tonight was unreal!
-ilikelolz 投稿

　利物浦下個賽季前景一片光明。
　瞧蘇亞雷斯和傑拉德配合的多麼天衣無縫！


Just found out England's formation for next week:
3-3-3-3-3-3-3-Emergency Exit-3-3-3-3-3-Stewardess-Toilets.
-wonderer 投稿

　英格蘭隊下週陣型：
　3-3-3-3-3-3-3-緊急出口-3-3-3-3-3-空姐-廁所

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尚未開戰前在推特頗受好評的小短文：
https://twitter.com/PeterNurse1/status/476721067281903617
The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. ‘It's heartbreaking
to see their sad little faces with no hope,"’ said Jose, age 6.
-Peter Nurse

　英格蘭隊今日造訪了巴西當地的一家孤兒院。
　「看著他們毫無希望的小臉蛋，我的心都要碎了。」
　六歲的Jose小朋友如此說道。

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