Popcorn Tennis Award 2011 - 網球 Tennis

It's hard to believe but this is the fourth instalment of
Popcorn Tennis Awards. The Tennis Awards that are always controversial
but rarely recognized by players.

這讓人難以置信，但這已經是第四屆的爆米花網球大賞了。這些獎項一向具有爭議，
並極少被選手承認。

If you're new to the Popcorn Tennis Awards, they honour those players
who made a significant contribution to the Australian Open, be it on court
or off. Unfortunately, we don't have any room in our schedule tonight for
those who have exhibited on-court brilliance, miracuous shot-making
ability or won seven matches in a row - there are plenty of awards that
cover that already. No, the Popcorn Tennis Awards complement the Grand
Slam like the Razzie Awards outrates the Oscars each year.

如果您是第一次看"爆米花網球大賞"，這是一個頒給那些不論在場內或場外
帶給澳網很大貢獻的人。很不幸的，我們沒有留獎給那些在球場上表現傑出，打出
驚人的球，或七連勝的那些人-他們已經有足夠的獎項。 我們使大滿貫更完整，就像
金酸梅獎使奧斯卡獎更完整一樣。

We have, however, had one person withdraw already - our guest host Marat
Safin. winner of numerous Popcorn Tennis honours, couldn't be us tonight.
His agents mentioned something about these awards not being real and the
whole thing being a waste of Marat's time. Probably fair enough.

不過，我們已經有人退出了-客座主持人Marat Safin，同時也是多座爆米花網球獎
的得主今晚不在這，他的經濟人說了一些啥有關這獎都是假的並只是浪費
他的時間之類的話，還挺有道理的

And so, without further ado, it's time to hand out our first gong

廢話不多說，來頒獎吧

The Sara Lee Award for the best impression of an apple pie goes to
Venus Williams' dress. We also had sponsor ship from a lattice
manufacturer for this award, but I don't eat lattice.

由於成功的模仿了蘋果派而得到"Sara Lee獎"的是大威的衣服。
我們也有得到lattice製造商的贊助，但很不幸的，我不吃lattice
(lattice:一種糕點，也是格子狀)

"The Hell Hath no Fury Award" goes to Kim Clijsters for hijacking her
interview with Todd Woodbridge. If you haven't seen it by now you
either haven't been watching tennis or have never heard of Youtube

克媽得到了"The Hell hath no Fury Award"，因為她成功的操縱了木橋給她
的賽後訪問。 如果您還沒看過那段訪問，您不是最近沒在看網球，就是
沒聽說過Youtube。

Our next award is pretty self-explanatory, it's the "It's not an Apple
,Stan Award". Next time, Stan, if you're hungry, ask one of the ballkids
for a banana.

我們下一個獎不需多作解釋，它是"史丹，那不是食物 獎"史丹，下一次你肚子餓時
叫旁邊隨便一個球童帶支香蕉給你。

And Stan, While you're up here you also won "The MaratSafin Award for
Racquet Origami", Stan gets the nod for his stunning one strike
demolition of his racquet during his straight set lose to Roger Federer
Stan made his racquet into a smaller compact model. Nice work, Stan.

史丹，既然你已經上台了，你同時也贏得了"Marat Safin的球拍折紙獎"
你在那場直落三輸給費德勒的那場球賽中，驚人的一擊拆解，為您奪下了這座獎
他把他的球拍變小了一號，史丹，做得好。

"The Street Fighting Award" this year was a tie between Spaniards Juan
Monaco and Feliciano Lopez, and Indians Leander Paes and Mahesh
Bhupathi; and the Bryan brothers and Philipp Petzschner and Jurgen
Melzer, for their respective doubles dust ups. Mike Bryan's comment
"You're gonna be on the news if you keep talking like this" was one
of the more insightful things heard all tourament. A career as a media
advisor awaits when he hangs up his racquet.

"街頭快打獎"在西班牙的Juan Monaco 與 Feliciano Lopez，和印度的Leander
Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi，和布萊恩兄弟，和Philipp Petzschner與 Jurgen
Melzer 四組間戰成平手，多虧了他們分別在雙打場上的爭吵。
麥可 布萊恩如是說: "如果你說話繼續這樣會上新聞" 這是大會少見的中肯之言
媒體人的工作在他退休後等著他。

"The Energiser Bunny Award" goes to Francesca Schiavone who backed up
an icredible four hour, 44 minute epic win over Svetlana Kuznetsova,
in which she saved six match points, with another three setter against
Great Dane Caroline Wozniacki.

"金頂兔子獎"的得獎人是鳳姐，因為她成功的在一場4小時44分的馬拉松大戰中
，挽救了六個賽末點，並最終擊敗庫娃。並在下一場比賽又跟Woz打了三盤大戰。

Speaking of Caro, "The Truth is More Boring than Fiction Award" goes to
her for her story about being attacked by a baby kangaroo. Turns out
slightly awkawrd No.1 walked into a treadmill. Whoops...

說到Woz，她用她被小袋鼠攻擊的故事贏得了"故事總是比事實精彩獎"，事實是
這個有點尷尬的世界第一只是撞上了跑步機

"The Golden Racquet for the Best Actor" goes to Agnieszka Radwanska.
After the Polish 12th seed's racquet came in for a spot of abuse, Agi
was a picture of shock when the head of her racque flew off the handle as
she attempted a backhand return (Youtube it if you haven't seen it).
Reportedly the "oohs" and "ahhs" were drowned out by the sound of running
feet as agents rushed from everywhere desperate to sign Radwanska up
for her first Hollywood feature.

"金球牌之最佳演員獎"頒給了Agnieszka Radwanska，在這位波蘭第十二號種子
的球拍因受不了虐待而罷工後，當她的球拍面在她試圖反手回發球飛走時，她的
驚恐表情可為經典。觀眾的驚呼聲都被從世界各地跑來想與她簽約拍電影的經濟人
的腳步聲給淹沒。

"The Golden Microphone Award" for the best work in the press room goes to
Chinese sensation Na Li for these gems among others:

給在記者室中表現最好的"金麥克風獎"的得獎人事李娜，因為她說出了如下珍言

"I was wake up every hour [because my husband was snoring],so I say
'Stop, I couldn't sleep' My husband just like say 'Relax.' I say, 'How?
Tell me how can relax because I couldn;t sleep.' "

"我每個小時都被(我老公打呼)吵醒, 所以我對他說'別打呼了，我睡不著'，他就只
是回了一句'放輕鬆'，我也回了他'你睡不著怎麼放輕鬆'

When asked "What got you through the third set even though you didn't have
a lot of sleep last night?" Li's answer with a smile "Prize money".

當問到她是怎麼在沒睡多少的情況下熬過第三盤時，她微笑著回答:"獎金"

"Do you think your Mom will come over for the final on Saturday?"

妳認為妳媽禮拜六決賽會來嗎

"I ask her many times, I say 'please come with me' 'No, no I have my life
I didn;t want to come with you'"

我問她許多次了，我說"拜託來嘛" 她回"不，我有自己的生活，我不想去"

And finally, "The John McEnroe Award for the Best Dummy Spit" goes to Sophie
Ferguson for her first-round meltdown against Croatia'a Petra Martic.

最後，"John McEnroe的最佳發脾氣獎"的獲獎人是Sophie Ferguson，
得獎原因是她第一輪面對克羅埃西亞的Petra Martic時的大崩潰。

Thanks for joining us and see you in 2012 for the fufth Popcorn Tennis Awards.
Next year we may even have real awards with a proper ceremony.
Then again, probably not.

謝謝您的參與，我們明年第五屆"爆米花網球大賞"再會，明年我們搞不好會有真的獎座
和正式的頒獎典禮! 話又說回來，應該是不會有

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原文:http://ppt.cc/lmJq

有好多地方不太會翻，還請高人指點(鞠躬)

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梗(X) => 哏(O)
請各位愛哏弟兄不要再用別字了!!



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