我要告訴你一個故事 ─ Leandro Barbosa - NBA

幫翻Shaq的段落。

In 2008, you couldn’t get to the paint against our Suns team. Well, maybe
you could, but you weren’t coming back. I’d be around the hoop when
opposing guards would cut toward Shaq. He’d smack the ball out of their
hands and across the court, and then yell at the dudes. Shaq was a friendly
giant one moment and the most dominant center of all time the next. And his
opponents never knew which one they would be facing. It was so fun to watch.
Shaq would yell:

在2008年，你在跟太陽比賽時沒辦法進入油漆區。呃，也許你可以，但是你會出不來。
當對手的後衛往Shaq切時我會在籃框附近。他會把球從他們手上搧到球場另一端，然後對
著他們大喊。上一秒Shaq是個友善的巨人，下一秒就變成了史上最具統治力的中鋒。他的
對手永遠都不知道他們會面對哪一個他。這看起來實在太有趣了。
俠客會大喊：

“If you come over here again … man. I swear to God, I’ll f*** you up. I
will. I’ll f***ing do it.”

「如果你在過來一遍...傢伙。我向天發誓，我會搞翻你。我真的會。我真的他X的會做到
。」

Shaq was a friendly giant one moment and the most dominant center of all
time the next moment.

上一秒Shaq是個友善的巨人，下一秒就變成了史上最具統治力的中鋒。

Next possession, the guard would cut for the paint, look at Shaq, and kick
the ball right out.

下個回合，對手後衛會切往禁區，看著俠客，然後把球分出去。

Shaq was a scary dude, for sure. But once you see somebody naked, you just
see a different side of them. You ready for this story? You’re not ready.

Shaq是個嚇人的傢伙，肯定的。但是當你看到某個人一絲不掛，你會看到他們不一樣的一
面。你準備好聽這個故事了嗎？你還沒準備好。

It’s a game day, early in the afternoon. Shaq picks me up because we’re
both heading to the trainer’s room to get some work done before tip-off. We
get to the locker room, take our clothes off and go over to the rehab room.
But the trainer isn’t there. We wait 15 minutes. We’re all there in towels,
just sitting around waiting. Shaq is kind of upset at this point. So he takes
off his towel (not sure why) and heads down to our trainer’s office. He
opens the door and is like, “Are you coming? Or am I going to have to pick
you up and take you?”

比賽日，下午的早些時候。Shaq因為我們都準備在比賽前做些訓練來接我。我們到了更衣
間，脫了衣服然後往復健室去。但是防護員並不在那裡。我們等了15分鐘依舊圍著毛巾在
那邊坐著等待。Shaq這個時候有點不高興了。他脫掉了他的毛巾（不懂為什麼），然後往
我們防護員的辦公室去。他打開了門，當時的情況就是「你是要不要來？還是需要我來接
你過去？」

At first, the trainer can’t tell if Shaq is joking or not. Shaq takes a few
steps closer and our trainer knows he’s not. So the trainer takes off —
sprinting down the hall.

一開始，那個防護員分不清Shaq是不是在開玩笑。Shaq往前走了幾步，防護員就知道他不
是在開玩笑。然後防護員拔腿就跑，往大廳衝刺。

Shaq follows him, of course. Still butt-ass naked. Now Shaq is in a dead
sprint down the hallway, running past arena workers and other staff,
screaming at the top of his lungs. This is a normal business day. It’s a
weekday.

Shaq當然也跟著他。仍然光著屁股。Shaq在走廊上跑著，邊死命大叫邊經過場地工作人員
和其他員工。這是個正常的工作日。是個平日。

Everyone is in official Suns gear or in suits. Shaq is in his birthday suit.

每個人都穿著太陽的衣服或正裝。Shaq什麼都沒有穿。

Just picture that, if you dare.

想像一下，如果你敢的話。

Future Hall of Famer, one of the greatest big men to ever play the game of
basketball. And here he was, naked, chasing our tiny little trainer through
the arena halls. I think the chase lasted 15 minutes. Which is a long time
for the Big Nude Cactus to be loose in the arena.

未來的名人堂成員，籃球史上最偉大的大個子之一。他就在這邊，光著身子，追著我們小小
的防護員跑過整個場館。我想他們的追逐大概有15分鐘。一段夠讓大裸仙人掌在場館裡放
鬆的時間。

That’s my friend, that’s Shaq.

這就是我的朋友，這就是Shaq。


另外補充一下我看到這個故事時腦袋想的是以前亞當山德勒講過的笑話
https://youtu.be/YZoKUlN9urg
以前有中譯版現在被撤了，不過這個真的很好笑XD
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